Sick & Tired Of Being Single

– by Bernadette Chiponda

Often, as single women (never married, widowed, or divorced), we are advised to pray about our future husbands and to wait upon the Lord patiently. The problems arise when the biological clock is ticking and friends and colleagues marry while nothing is forthcoming for you. Sometimes “the wait” – or dating process – is characterised by heartbreak, betrayal, despair, and depression. What do you do when you clearly desire to be married, but it’s not happening? You have compromised and done everything you know to do, but you are still alone?

Getting to the root
Sick & Tired of Being Single seeks to explore possible causes that may contribute to a prolonged “single life”. It discusses social and spiritual causes that keep us from receiving our breakthroughs for marriage. It provides a Biblical perspective and practical guidance with the hope of exposing truth, which can set us free once we know it. Below is an extract from book. I trust you will be blessed. 

All tied up, breaking soul ties
An area that you need to pray about, which is a possible obstacle to you as a single woman, is soul ties that you may have developed over time. A soul tie is a bond that is created between two people in a relationship. The bond may be emotional, physical, or spiritual. The bond often develops because of words that lovers share, such as “My heart belongs to you alone”, “I will never love anyone except you”, and “You are the only man for me.” The bond may also develop because of long periods of time spent together or the exchange of gifts and tokens, but most commonly the bond will result from having sexual intercourse with your boyfriend or partner.

What does the Bible say about soul ties?
The Bible is very clear when it comes to sexual relations between a man or woman, and the bond that results from it: “Don’t you realise that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the Scriptures say ‘The two are united into one.’ But the person who is joined to the Lord is one in spirit with him. Run from sexual sin. No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body”. – Corinthians 6:16-18. The Scripture says that when two people have sex, they become bonded to each other, whether they are married or not. In marriage, this bond is good, as husband and wife are bonded for life and only death can separate them, but when we are connected to old boyfriends that have since departed, then this poses a problem. This is because when you break up and they move on, they do so in the physical sense, but the emotional and spiritual bonds that you have created remain.

Can’t forget an ex?
It’s little wonder that some people cannot let go of past lovers who have since moved on or even married someone else. They have a secret longing and are constantly thinking of all the things their ‘ex’ did for and to them. In some cases, it’s so bad that any little thing can prompt those memories. For others, current relationships suffer because they are always comparing their boyfriend to their ‘ex-lover.’ Such behaviour is a sure sign that they are all tied up in a web of things that could have been. Sadly, if as a single woman you do not deal with soul ties, they may hinder you from meeting the right person or accepting the person that God has reserved for you. 

Ask yourself the following:
The question you need to ask is this: “Am I really a single person? When God looks at me does He see a single woman? What do I look like in the spirit? Am I tied up to somebody or many partners from my past such that there is no room for my spouse?” Is it possible that your prayer is not being answered because you are not really single? Or is it possible that God has answered and provided someone for you, but your life is so wrapped up and filled up by soul ties of old boyfriends that there is no room for that man that God has planned for you? Is there no room for anyone new in your life because of past lovers?


JOY! Magazine (August 2018)

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