Love Is Not Sex

– by Bernadette Chiponda

As you celebrate Valentines Day, know that love is not sex. You don’t have to sleep with someone to show them you love them. You are not obliged to have sex with your boyfriend just because he buys you flowers and gifts. He or she may threaten to leave you, but anyone who manipulates you does not really love you. Even though you feel so in love, there are many ways to express your love and sex is not one of them. God ordained sex for marriage between a husband and wife. Mary, Jesus’ mom, was engaged to Joseph but had not been intimate with him. She respected herself by not defiling her virginity, while Joseph respected her enough not to demand sex. 

God honoured them both by entrusting them with His Son, Jesus Christ. When you are in love, you want what’s best for the other party; you want them to excel, complete their education, and pursue their dreams. You want to add value to them; not subtract from them. In fact, sex outside of marriage is not only sinful – it leaves a trail of destruction i.e. the escalating HIV infection rates, abortions, school drop outs, unwanted pregnancies, and single-parenting. What’s more, sex clouds one’s judgement, leading to regrets and broken dreams. Girls – if he loves you, he can wait. Let your answer be no, even before the question is asked. Guys – if you love her, have the sense not to ask. Ignore peer pressure, you are not missing out! On World Aids Day, health officials released alarming stats of HIV infection rates of youth between the ages of 15-25 years. You may think you can opt to practise safe sex by ‘condomising’ but at what cost? Only abstinence gives you true freedom. Don’t be another statistic. Love yourself, and respect those you love.


JOY! Magazine (February 2018)

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