– by Paul Nyamuda
Jesus called them together and said, ‘You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant.’” – Matthew 20:25 – 26. Servanthood is the Biblical key to greatness. We often look at the Scripture above and apply it only to a church setting. The reality is that our primary ministry is in our homes. We are not showmen; servant-hearted humility must first be manifest in our marriages.
Proud people are not servant-hearted
People who are proud don’t serve. “Ah no, well that’s going to inconvenience me,” they would probably say. People who are proud don’t wait. When you respect and value someone’s knowledge above your own understanding, you are willing to wait for them, just as you do when you sit in the waiting room of a doctor you value and respect, without getting upset that your time is being wasted. Your humility will often produce patience. How patient are you with your spouse? Are you willing to wait in His Presence, and to linger there? This is the foundation of humility in marriage. You are humble before God and man.
Are you open to correction?
When you are humble in marriage you are willing to get correction from your spouse, even if you see them as less experienced. You are grateful that there is someone you are accountable to who loves you. You recognise your own frailty before God, making you suspend judgement and be full of grace towards your spouse. You are not presumptuous, so you check in with them on matters that affect them. You do not have an entitlement mentality that makes you demand that your needs and wants are met immediately. Rather you see what you have as a privilege. You are grateful, even for the seemingly insignificant things in your marriage. You honour your spouse, recognising that they too are created in God’s image. This manifests in your tenderness. When it comes to decision-making, you enquire of the Lord and don’t trust your own ability or intellect. You know that even you can be deceived. You do things for the audience of One (God); you would still do it even if no one was going to find out. You know that better men (or women) than you have fallen, no sin is beyond you.
Humility leads to a better life
When you are humble in marriage, recognising your ignorance and limitations, it makes you readily ask your spouse for advice and assistance. No work is beneath you. Sadly, some people are too proud to accept certain jobs, and as a result they do not provide for their families. Your humility causes you to be full of faith because you take God at His Word. You build emotional intimacy with your spouse because you make yourself vulnerable. This is seen in how you can boast of your weaknesses; like Paul says, “If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness” – 2 Corinthians 11:30. You are willing therefore to expose (disclose) your weakness, instead of just projecting an ideal image. Finally, humility will help you to apologise genuinely. May God give us grace! “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” – James 4:6.
JOY! Magazine (May 2018)