—by Paul Nyamuda

I like some of the Biblical definitions of the verb to honour: To make glorious, adorn with lustre, clothe with splendour, to impart glory to something, render it excellent and illustrious, make renowned, cause the dignity and worth of someone to be acknowledged.

The impact of honouring your spouse is that they feel valued, celebrated, and significant. People will always gravitate to where they are celebrated not tolerated. Hebrews 13:4, “Marriage should be honoured by all…” Gentlemen, remember that this honour is not one way. 1 Peter 3:7, “In the same way, you husbands must give honour to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together … Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.” 

What does the Bible say?
“A son honours his father, and a servant his master. If I am a father, where is the honour due me? If I am a master, where is the respect due me?” says the LORD Almighty. “It is you, O priests, who show contempt for My Name. “But you ask, ‘How have we shown contempt for Your Name?’ “You place defiled food on my altar. “But you ask, ‘How have we defiled you?’ “By saying that the LORD’s table is contemptible. When you bring blind animals for sacrifice, is that not wrong? When you sacrifice crippled or diseased animals, is that not wrong? Try offering them to your governor! Would he be pleased with you? Would he accept you?” says the LORD Almighty.” – Malachi 1:6-8.

Apply this to your marriage
Applying this passage to marriage, you dishonour your spouse by not giving them your best; being comfortable with impurity; not being aware of the impact of your dis-honour; being indifferent with regards to the position they hold in your life; and treating others better than your own spouse.

Make the decision today!
Make a fundamental decision today to fully honour your spouse. Honour is based on the position someone holds in your life, not their day to day behaviour. I am called to honour my wife not because of what she did or didn’t do for me yesterday but simply because she is my wife. Ask God to show you creative ways of communicating honour to your spouse. 

Here are a few ways to honour your spouse:
Tell them what’s coming up on your schedule. Let them be the first to know about important things in your life. If you are running late, communicate. Call them something exclusive. My wife and I call each other, “My Precious One”, often shortened to “My Presh”. Respond timeously to their whatsapps, emails, or missed calls. Attend to their needs as a priority, placing greater weight on these than requests from your friends or extended family. Don’t take them for granted by procrastinating. Be fully present when they are speaking to you, yes, switch off your phone. Take into consideration their recreational preferences. Allow them to be themselves. This reinforces self-acceptance. Avoid being domineering and controlling. Don’t smother. Value them as a powerful human being with their own unique taste (in clothes, hairstyles, sport, food, movies, humour, etc). It’s astonishing how many couples try to make the other person become a clone of them. Finally, place value on their dreams not just your own.

Romans 12:10, “Be devoted to one another in love. Honour one another above yourselves.”


Paul Nyamuda is the senior pastor of Go Christian Church in Centurion. Paul has authored 25 books on marriage, leadership, personal mastery, and business. Visit www.paulnyamuda.com. Conversing, Paul’s latest book, is in major Bookstores nationwide and the digital copy is available on Amazon.com.

JOY! Magazine (August 2017)

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